My life’s a nightmare a dream catcher cant help me, writing this is the only time that i've felt free, i haven’t left yet but already feel so forgotten, I thought once you hit the rock theres no more bottom, everyday I face this pain and sorrow, its hard going to sleep knowing it’ll be the same tomorrow, livings like a chore I have to force my heart to beat, I reflect on my life and I just start to weep, its sad to say I’ve discovered my comfort in a blade, I know its wrong but its like with one slit I am saved, my arms are covered with scars and plenty of bruises, they’re either self made or from dad being abusive, my life was ruined from the day he laid his hands on me, i was only four so what kind of man is he, I was warned of what would happen if I told my friends, I didn’t like the consequence so I’d hold my end, i always think to call the police but i hesitate, cus once I did and my eye was shut for seven days, rumor has it he was meant to be my guardian, but every problem I’ve ever faced in life is regarding him, the only way it could get any worse is if my mother died, I constantly have this thought of living on the other side, I imagine living my life free of worries, and my father finally smothering me in sorries, but reality kicks in and im awoken from this dream, my scars remain and my heart’s still broken at the seams, physically and emotionally im scarred, I tell my self I wont cry but when he gets close to me I start, my last birthday I celebrated alone, im bullied at school and can tell im hated at home, so many thoughts but I‘ve been to scared to say a word, while writing this I’ll finally make sure they are heard, my only escape is my diary my only friend, I think my life is about to reach its lonely end, my families poor I will never live in luxury, dad once said he loved me but that doesn’t mean much to me, as I’ve heard him say to mum his only one is her, but then I see him hitting just to punish her, this is when I realized hate and love go together, because the scars he put on his loved one will show forever, dad I hope you feel my pain when your reading this, but to be honest I already know you’ll find it meaningless, for my death I hope your held accountable, mum all I pray is that you help announce it all, by the way im sorry that this is what it came too, I just need you to know that I’ll never blame you, over time I’ve grown tired of living life in fear, I know I’ll have an out as long as this knife is near, as I hold it many thoughts travel my mind, life’s a smooth road but theres only gravel in mine, so im gonna cut my road short cus it’s a dead end, mum said I’ll be alright but she should’ve said when, now im taking fate into my own hands, my flirting with death is soon to reach a romance, I have to end this I feel my time is up, I’ve been holding this knife now I think its time to cut, heaven or hell will be better than this life, that’s the reason why you’ll find me dead with my wrist sliced.